Jumpgate: Truely Tabloid - Man Dies and Lives to Tell About it

July 28, 2000: Man Dies and Lives to Tell About it

L. Smith, of Qwerty SK, died in Saint Bobs Hospital at 5:36 PM. Here is the exclusive Truly Bad News interview with Mr. Smith:

Bad News: What happened?

Smith: While eating my Jello for desert, I felt very strange. Then I heard that sound: beeeeeeee. I knew then I kicked the bucket.

Then I saw it. It was a bright light. I was getting nervous and started to sweat. Then I realised, why should I be nervous, I'm dead. So I was not nervous anymore, but I was still sweating. Then I realised what the bright light was: a big fire! I was in hell.

Bad News: Cool! Then what happened?

Smith: Then I could feel something pulling me back. I felt a strange feeling on my lips and in my mouth. The feeling was great and I started to get a hard...

Bad News: Let's not go there.

Smith: Okay. What was happening is that someone was giving me CPR. I was hoping it was one of the nice nurses.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was my girl friend. She brought me back to life! She then accused me of pretending to be dead so she would have no choice but to give me CPR. I tried to tell her what happened. She said to me "If you did go to hell, why didn't you bring me back anything? Don't you love me anymore?".

Bad News: Then what happened?

Smith: I told her there was a two for one sale in the gift shop downstairs. That got rid of her very quickly.

Bad News: Then what happened?

Smith: I proceeded to finish my Jello, hoping to hear that sound again.

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